Patience

I would love to have a successful blog that brands Thee Doll Show among hundreds or thousands of people. I have started and sometimes deleted several blogs over the years. I get inspired and frustrated when I see others' blogs flourishing and I look back like "How did they do that? What am I lacking?"

I got the answer just in the moment it took me to start writing this particular post: PATIENCE.

I need to be patient with myself about what I want to share, what I want it to look like, etc. I usually start and try to get post right out and do what I think will work instead of cultivating everything slowly, from the aesthetics to my first post. This usually turns into some sort of discontentment surfacing not too far down the road.

Interestingly enough, blogging is not the only area of life that I should extend some patience. To be totally transparent, I need to learn patience with myself across the board. As I begin this year, leading up to my 30th birthday, I have been doing a lot of reflecting regarding my past and where I want to go from here. A lot of my regrets and shortcomings stem from my own impatience.

So, I started a "30 before 30" list and a lot of it revolves around discipline, stability, and balance. I realized to cultivate all those things, I would need to be patient with myself, something I have essentially never done. I am currently reading "The Happiness Project" and Gretchen Rubin discusses her plan of attack on the list of things she would like to improve about herself: taking a different focus per month and by December working everything together at once. The concept makes total sense and almost seems like common sense except for the fact that I consider myself full of common sense and I did not even consider this method. I just immediately overwhelmed myself with "how am I going to remember all of these things?" and "how will I gauge some of my more intrinsic goals?" Over my life, in times of being completely overwhelmed, I usually end up cutting off my hair, quitting, submitting, against my will. "My will" being the part of me that wants to have it all, do it all, be it all. For some reason "my will" does not always rise to the occassion and frankly, I am tired of it. I really do not want to continue down this path. I want to change.

So here I am embarking on a journey to learn patience with myself in order to be it all, do it all, and have it all. However, I am changing my perspective: it won't all happen at once and in a set time and the key is for me to see everything to end.

Two major things that will be going into teaching myself patience:

• Creating and growing of THIS blog (though please stop by and check out my tumblr for all the fun stuff aka pictures and sorts: thedollshow.tumblr.com)
• Daily cognizance and attention to the goals I have set for myself via my "30 before 30" list

I really look forward to sharing my growth, trials, tribulations and whatever else strikes my fancy in this journey.